Me meeting a genie: Okay, so my first wish is for 1000 dollars a day, deposited to my bank account without any way of tracing it to anything illegal. I want this money to come from the ten richest people in America (100 dollars each), withdrawn under the guise of nebulous, random purchases and surcharges. It would probably be best to split the money into a myriad of smaller fees, though, to reduce the likelihood of anyone noticing. Got all that?
Genie: um
Me, continuing on without a care: For my SECOND wish, I want you to give me the ability to learn any given phoneme, so that I can learn to pronounce new languages perfectly. If you’re willing, it’d be nice if it were a little easier to memorize new languages too, but if that’s not cool, I’m perfectly fine doing all the legwork myself I mostly just want to be capable of pronouncing things correctly.
Genie, now staring at me like I’m insane: ……okaaayyy?….
Me: For my third wish. I want to always have great ideas for gifts for people. Every birthday, every holiday, I want to be able to come up with something they’d really like, with enough time to actually get it for them.
Genie, just staring at me
Me: I can provide you with a written document if that would help.
people like op are the ones that get memorialized in folk tales for outwitting the devil
The salmonella onion ban has informed me that about 50% of my mutuals had a nice soup planned that’s just RUINED now.
sorry the what now?
This is per the CDC, read any stickers they might have on them!
“ProSource said in the recall that the onions were "distributed to wholesalers, broadline foodservice customers, and retail stores” in mesh sacks ranging from 2 to 50 pounds and cartons ranging from 5 to 50 pounds “by the following distributors and/or under the following brands: Big Bull, Peak Fresh Produce, Sierra Madre, Markon First Crop., Markon Essentials, Rio Blue, ProSource, Rio Valley, and Sysco Imperial.”
To date, this outbreak has been associated with 652 illness, 129 hospitalizations and no deaths spanning the following states: AL, AR, CA, CO, CT, FL, GA, IA, IL, IN, KS, KY, LA, MA, MD, MI, MN, MO, MS, NC, ND, NE, NJ, NM, NY, OH, OK, OR, PA, SC, SD, TN, TX, UT, VA, WI, WV.
as long as you cook onions to 160F (72C) you’re fine. so you’re good to make your soup/curry/stir-fry/etc
the reason why salmonella outbreaks in lettuce are so bad is because lettuce is always eaten raw.
Please don’t pass stuff like this. Even if you assume you’ve cooked away every single bacteria in your skillet, the average person is cutting by hand, rinsing veggies without thinking of splashback, etc, leaving opportunity for cross contamination. It’s really not worth shitting yourself to the hospital.
why do people insist on characterizing zuko as a mysterious and unreadable guy? he’s like, the king of oversharing. he isn’t subtle at all. in fact, the only person who doesn’t know what zuko is feeling at any given moment is probably zuko himself.
Zuko overshared about his troubled family life to an unconscious Aang in the middle of a blizzard
WHATCH OUT FOR SHARKS!
shark // 25 // they/them ☆ what if i WANT the vampires to hurt me. what then.
WHATCH OUT FOR SHARKS!
