you-are-beautiful-to-belle:

sk8hi-babe:

artistiquesoul:

aleksarsonette:

artistiquesoul:

I don’t think guys seem to grasp the fact that just because he feels that he’s being polite and respectful while “complimenting” us that we should praise his acknowledgement on our beauty, and that we shouldn’t feel uncomfortable. I have never shared this story with the general public, only people who I am dearly close with. But I’m so fed up with men and their false claim of entitlement when they see a woman who they find attractive. 

I was 13 years old when I was raped by a man who I thought was just being “nice” to me. He was 19 years old and a lifeguard at the pool I’d swim at near my dads house because it was usually empty during the last hour, and I enjoyed doing laps until it closed. I had really long curly hair that looked so pretty in the water, and it went down my back with perfect coils and everything. He always used to tell me that I was going to grow up to be so pretty, and that I had beautiful hair. I was young, and flattered. I thought he was just being nice. You know, how like our parents are nice to us, and tell us how beautiful we are. Every week I’d come to the pool at the same time and he’d always be there, we talked sometimes. He’d ask me stuff about school, and sports because I obviously loved to swim and wanted to make the JV swim team for the highschool I was attending once I got into 7th grade. That’s why I was practicing so much. One day when I was finished doing laps, I went into the girls room to change back into my clothes. Around this time he would be cleaning the pool area and mens bathroom. He never came into the girls bathroom while I was in there.. Until one day… I was in the middle of taking off my swimsuit… When I heard someone come into the bathroom area. I thought it was just someone going pee or something. I paid no mind.. Until he knocked on my bathroom stalls door and said “Hey hun, can I come in?”, I of course said no, I’m still changing. He kept insisting. Saying that he would help me and that it was okay. All in such a kind voice. At that point I had no idea what to do. The walls for the bathroom stalls didn’t have an opening to where I could just crawl under into the next stall to run out. I was still trying to hurry and put my clothes on when he busted open the door. He asked me why I didn’t let him in, and he was speaking so calm.. Which was the scary part. I didn’t know what to think. I told him that I wasn’t done getting dressed, and he told me that I didn’t need to finish. He started to stroke my shoulder, and touch my hair. He was aggressively gentle. I kept looking at the door, seeing if I could run, and I tried.. And as soon as I did, he stopped me. And he got angry so fast. He grab me by both of my arms, slammed me against the wall and started kissing my neck. I fought back, but I was only a 13 year old girl going against a 19 year old with huge muscles. He was saying “all this time… you’ve been leading me on.. coming here half naked while no one is around…. smiling at me, accepting my compliments…. flirting with me.. taking forever in the stall.. just waiting”… I was crying so much to the point where the words “no” and “stop” couldn’t fully be understood. He was pulling on my swim bottoms, and I was trying my best to keep them pulled up. I never fought so hard in my life, not even to this day. I don’t even know how much time went by, it could have been one minute or a whole half hour.. it felt like it would never end… He had managed to take off his pants, while his hand was around my neck and he forced me to bend over and he spit his hands then stuck his fingers in between my legs. I couldn’t even scream. It felt like one of those nightmares where you’re trying to yell for help, but nothing is coming out. I still have those kinds of nightmares to this day…. I just remember going limp, and being in pain, and barely having any fight left in me. I just laid there and cried while he raped me. My legs were in pain, my arms were in pain. My entire body felt like what I thought was death. I thought he was going to kill me. I thought I was already dead. I thought I was in hell. I was…. Once he finished.. He kissed me… He told me he loved me and that he couldn’t wait to see me again. He made me shower outside in the pool area. He even cleaned me himself with soap from the dispenser in the bathroom. I thought it would never end. He was still touching me… I was cleaned by my own rapist. All the blood rinsed off my legs and off my swimsuit… He kept me under the cold water until I stopped bleeding. He kept touching me softly… He asked me if I wanted to “go again”…. I could barely stand up… and i just cried more and the only word that I could form was “no” over and over again.. He told me that I couldn’t tell anyone or I’d end up dead and that my family would never know where to find my body. He made me stay with him until the sun went down.. He told me to tell my dad that I was playing kickball all day, and that my legs were sore from running… I went home around 8 while the sun was setting.. My dad was okay with me being out all night, and cooked me dinner… I didn’t eat. I just laid in bed and cried until I fell asleep. I felt safe being back at home, but I was scared to ever leave the house alone again.

After that day, I have honestly always had a fear of going anywhere alone, even if it’s just around the corner. I never left my house, I never made any friends, I always kept to myself because I felt like everything in me was taken away. I lived majority of my life in fear of being alone while around men. I suffered with depression, and still do because my mind was molded differently after being raped. I was afraid of the people who loved me, because my rapist once said that he loved me. I was afraid of the people who called me pretty, because my rapist once told me that. I hated my hair, I hated the way I looked I hated everything about myself. I blamed myself for so many years. I always used to think that he was right. That I did flirt, and I was always there, half naked… and that I was always alone.. He had every right.. And I used to hate myself for not being smarter. Until I became older and I wised up and I stopped blaming myself…

So to the human male species who can’t seem to understand why women like myself, and even woman who have not had the same experience as me do not find anything about your “respectful and polite” comments flattering, this is one of the reasons why. Think of all the rapes that started off with simple compliments. I understand that not all men are predators, and rapists. But that doesn’t mean that I should be comfortable with the same kind of compliments that my rapist once gave me, just because you call yourself being a “gentleman”. We don’t need our beauty pointed out to know that it exists. You guys need to get rid of that false sense of entitlement when it comes to woman and our bodies. We do not leave the house every day in hopes to please the eyes of a bunch of little man boys who don’t know how to actually act like a gentleman without making us feel entirely uncomfortable because you find us desirable. 

I don’t understand why it has to be a debate on guys wanting to make us feel uncomfortable, simply because they find us attractive. You wouldn’t want a man treating your mother like she’s a piece of meat and that he has the right to make her feel unsafe because of what he wants out of her. It’s not a matter of how you feel after or about approaching us. It’s about how WE feel while being approached. And it’s sad that I feel the need to carry a gun, or some kind of weapon because men don’t want to accept the fact that we would like to be left alone, and that we honestly fear for our safety if we are not. And to the people, male and female saying “just ignore them”. Think of all the men who get so angry when you deny or ignore them. And you expect us not to be afraid? 

Guys always try using the excuse, “Girls hit on guys all the time”. Yeah, I believe you. But how many girls follow you home and rape you? How many girls make you feel unsafe and that you shouldn’t be alone near her? When you’re walking down the street, and you a girl is coming your way, do you cross the street because you don’t want her cat calling at you or harassing you? Do you feel comfortable going places that are populated with females alone? Wait, let me guess. The answer is “no because girls like to talk about guys too”. 

How about this, stop making up pathetic excuses trying to justify street harassment. Stop saying that you’re “just giving a compliment”. Stop assuming that everything that comes out of your mouth needs some sort of appraisal. Stop thinking that you deserve our attention, or that we want it yours because we’re beautiful and put effort into the way we look for ourselves. Stop objectifying woman. We are not pieces of meat. The sidewalk, the super market, the train station, the hallway, the grocery store, our place of employment, or anywhere else where we CLEARLY do not want to be bothered is NOT an open invitation for you fools to bother us. And I repeat, your compliments do not matter. Especially when we already know that we’re beautiful. Your justification is not needed. 

There are times and places to speak with woman. Do not ask me my name, that is none of your business. How I’m doing is none of your business. Where I’m going or if I have I a boyfriend is none of your fucking business. Again, I don’t give a FUCK about how kind you think you sound. I don’t give a fuck about your harmless intentions. All I care about is getting the fuck away from you, and to my destination safely. And it pisses me off when girls think that they’re obligated to respond to a man who speaks to her. IGNORE HIM. MEAN MUG HIM. DON’T JUSTIFY HIS TAUNTING AND CREEPY ACTIONS WITH AN AWKWARD SMILE AND A THANK YOU. MAKE HIM KNOW THAT HE ISN’T SHIT AND THAT HIS WORDS HOLD NO WEIGHT. I don’t care how evil this may sound, but I refuse let a female pass this advice up and end up in my situation. Men love feeling like they have power. Rip his ego to shreds baby girl. Let him feel that denial and always have pepper spray, or some sort of weapon at hand just in case he’s bold enough to take your response violently. Since we can’t get through their skulls with simply asking them not to harass us on the streets. 

And stop making the pitiful excuse of “how else am I going to meet woman if I can’t talk to them?” WHO THE FUCK CARES. CRY ME A RIVER?

Just kidding, there’s so many comfortable places and events that I woman wouldn’t mind getting approached at. FYI, Still.. not all woman. And don’t forget that we also have the power to approach men first. Holy shit, who would have thought. Crazy right? It’s okay to ask a woman in the appropriate setting, “Are you comfortable with me speaking to you?”. Oh hey look, that’s a way to be a gentleman without saying one thing about how she looks. WOW. ROCKET SCIENCE. You don’t have to only point out a woman’s body to let her know that you’re interested. Crazy right? Because it seems to be common sense that you may be attracted to her if you’re willing to attempt conversation. You don’t have to tell us though. Really. Be interested in things other than our bodies. And if she declines your offer to speak with her, accept it and move along. It’s seriously not that hard you guys. It doesn’t take the objectification of our bodies to consider yourself a gentleman. 

And to the females who think that they’re ugly because men don’t look at them as sex symbols… You aren’t meant to be anyone’s property, and you aren’t invisible because the fools don’t flock to you. You are all desirable and beautiful, and not everyone is going to be able to see that, but it’s important that you see it yourself, no matter what.

This broke my heart, made me EXTREMELY angry, and woefully sad at in the span of 5 minutes. This made me want to do something and change something and help someone. And I fucking will. This should not happen to little kids. 

This shouldn’t happen to absolutely anyone *

I cried…im so fucking sorry you had to go through this, you’re such a strong soul, and remain being strong💕

This should get more notes,spread awareness everyone !!! And you are a very very strong girl,I’m so sorry this happened to you