bnk3rboss:

aries: i always wind up making friends who accuse me of hating love

taurus: tfw you sink into the warm embrace of crime

gemini: i love to sin and smell like beyonce

cancer: im not a person. im a robot and i hate america

leo: dear diary… im embarrassed bc my crush heard about how i endorse heterosexuality

virgo: when i wake up i immediately disobey the president

libra: (sighing sadly) i guess i will bask in a torrential downpour of chaos

scorpio: i am not gentle or kind. i serenade my own ass

sagittarius: (shoveling handfuls of dirt into my mouth) i love light yagami

capricorn: cries bc i release memes

aquarius: (reclining in an antique armchair and sipping a thick black liquid from a wine glass) ah. i suppose it is time to hate anime

pisces: hey everyone! romanticize the void