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Do you want to quote more Shakespeare in your life but never find opportunities to say “brevity is the soul of wit”? Do you rarely hang below balconies exchanging love vows with the daughter of your enemy? This is just the list for you.

“What an ass am I!”
—Hamlet, Act 2, Scene 2

“I am not a slut,”
—As You Like It, Act 3, Scene 3
(Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)

“Hell is empty and all the devils are here,”
—The Tempest, Act 1, Scene 2

“Commit the oldest sins the newest kind of ways,”
—Henry IV Part 2, Act 4, Scene 5

“This is the excellent foppery of the world,”

–King Lear, Act 1, Scene 2

“Making the beast with two backs,”
—Othello, Act 1, Scene 1

“The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool,”
—As You Like It, Act 5, Scene 1

“To tell thee plain, I aim to lie with thee,”
—Henry VI Part 3, Act 3, Scene 2
(Works great for courting hot widows.)

“I would rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he loves me,”
—Much Ado About Nothing, Act 1, Scene 1

“I wasted time, and now doth time waste me,”
—Richard II, Act 5, Scene 5

“Marry, sir, in her buttocks.”
—A Comedy of Errors, Act 2, Scene 5
(No judgement here.)

“My horse is my mistress,”
—Henry V, Act 3, Scene 7
(Uh, there might be something wrong with that.)

“Thou dost infect my eyes,”
—Richard III, Act 1, Scene 2

“Better a witty fool, than a foolish wit,”
—Twelfth Night, Act 1, Scene 5
(“Wit” is Shakespearean slang for penis.)

“[Wine] provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance,”
—Macbeth, Act 2, Scene 3

“I had rather live with cheese and garlic in a windmill, far, than feed on cates and have him talk to me in any summer-house in Christendom,”
—Henry IV Part 2, Act 4 Scene 1

“Now, gods, stand up for bastards!”
—King Lear, Act 1, Scene 2

“Villain, I have done thy mother!”
—Titus Andronicus, Act 4, Scene 2
(This means exactly what you think it does.)

“And thou unfit for any place but hell,”
—Richard III, Act 1, Scene 2

“The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers,”
—Henry VI Part 2, Act 4, Scene 2

“Heaven truly knows that thou art false as hell.”
—Othello, Act 4, Scene 2

“Out, dunghill!”
—King John, Act 4, Scene 3

“This is too long.”
—Hamlet, Act 2, Scene 2