erikkillmongerdontpullout:

erikkillmongerdontpullout:

wittyusernamed:

erikkillmongerdontpullout:

People who rely on “oof” “worm” “mood” “same” when faced with their friend’s emotional pain need to stop digging their heels in with “well its actual a complex way to say you relate and are here for them blah blah shit noises” reasoning and learn how to be emotionally available and supportive. No one wants to hear that all the time when they are going through it. If you don’t know what to say, just validate their emotions and care to write more than a single meme word.

And what are the Comfort Words you suggest?

• I’m sorry your handling that I know it can be intense
• How can I support you best?
• You’re emotions are valid/you aren’t crazy
• I hear you
• Hey I don’t know if I can give advice but I’ll be happy to just listen
• I love you and support you but I can’t talk about this right now, can we come back to it later?
• What is something I can help you with?
• I can’t give you what you need but I can do XYZ

Any variants of these are good, I use them a lot too. You know your friend best and you know yourself you gotta be realistic with how much you can help and what you can handle. Just talk with them to talk about boundaries. I know it can be awkward especially if the friendship is online but I’ve told my friends “hey I really can’t handle that atm but we can talk about x later” and I’ve also been told that what I’m saying was too intense and that she hears me and we can come and talk about it at a later date.

These things aren’t even dependent on feeling empathy because I know that’s a real struggle but just communicating your needs and boundaries and being honest about what you can and can’t handle and when is important to making healthy relationships. You don’t have to be people’s therapists(especially because that can be a recipe for diseater) but just listening and giving them space to be open with you is key. Respect their feelings and handle it how you would want someone to handle yours when you need it.

Typo fixed but it’s not even about saying the right chain of words but just being there for the people you care about and genuinely engaging with their pain instead of saying a meme phrase that does nothing