phoenixiancrystallist:

ghostmage:

i’m starting to realize the “friendship where we bully each other” thing is a complicated subject for me, because as a survivor of bullying and my interests being mocked for basically my entire life, i don’t really find it funny or endearing when pals do it. i don’t mind gentle insults and inside jokes, but idk, there has to be a point where you go “maybe i shouldn’t cut on my friend’s new oc or special interest” and stop yourself. i think we should all try a little harder to know that boundary and not put our friends in those situations

My best friend and I used to greet each other with insults (“hey bitch!” “wassup slut?”) and generally poke fun at each other all the time. It’s how we showed affection, just constant little pokes and prods and minor nuisances. But I noticed that these exchanges were wearing her down through little behavioral ticks, like she’d go quiet or her laugh wasn’t as bubbly. So I changed how I show her affection and now scream “hi Dawn I love you :D” at the top of my lungs when I say hi. And I hear her stifle a giggle and she answers with either “love you too” or “hiiiii, love you!!!” depending on her mood at the time.

It’s fine to have a close friendship where you can pretend to be mean to each other and you both understand that none of that meanness is real. But the second it starts to feel real to either of you, that behavior should change.