GUYS. GIRLS. A moment. Please. Really. You know how all the fic and whatnot says that Crowley’s sheets are “pure silk”, “black silk” and so on… well… I just found out that snakes don’t have traction on silk! It’s like a treadmill, they don’t move!
“…did NOT think this one through.”
no but this falls right into the Crowley Pitfall™
he absolutely would feel silk sheets with his people fingers and go “niiiiiiice this will feel GREAT against my scales” and then go home to put them on his bed and be like “ya! it’s snakey time!”, get his scaley butt in bed and then 3 min in be like “i’ve made a horrible mistake”