I find that if you grew up in a dysfunctional family, with a verbally and/or physically violent parent, regular communication or healthy disagreements feel scary and unsafe because you grew in a highly unstable/ volatile environment where a conversation about potato salad being too salty could have escalated into a full blown fight.

I know for a fact that I avoid disagreements and difficult conversations because it makes me super tense and i’m constantly trying to anticipate the person’s reaction/what they would like to hear to keep myself safe.

In your adult life, you have to train yourself to be an open communicator, you have to take responsibility over yourself and work on healing your inner child so that you don’t get wound up whenever a tough conversation needs to take place, disagreements are normal and healthy (no one is going to agree with everything you say), it is safe for you to disagree with others, it is safe for your to voice your opinion, it is also  highly recommended for you to express your emotional/physical needs even if it feels uncomfortable, your partner/friends/colleagues are not mind readers.

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