cave johnson here. the lab boys have told me that the giant, hideous slug we’ve been extracting gel from for the last two months may be… i mean, how do you want me to say this– it’s homophobic. i don’t even know if it’s been near a homosexual employee or employees, but damned if it doesn’t pitch a fit whenever two men are within five feet of each other. i can’t fire the thing, it’s not on the payroll, so: if you ARE a homosexual under our employ. invest in salt.





