naamahdarling:

naamahdarling:

heavyweightheart:

anna-mator:

robotsandfrippary:

heysawbones:

swampseer:

kithnkin:

omgthatdress:

superopinionated:

omgthatdress:

Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life by Susan Forward

Why Does he DO That: Inside The Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft

Cannot recommend WDHDT highly enough. I’ve found it helpful not just for romantic relationships, but also for growing up w a “unexplainable/uncontrollable” dad.

IT HAS ALSO BEEN REALLY HELPFUL FOR UNDERSTANDING ONLINE MOB HARASSMENT.

So if you’ve ever been bombarded w threats to be raped/killed, (so…if you’re a minority and you’ve been on the Internet for a while), this book might be useful for getting clarity around the whole entitled, abusive mindset that drives certain kinds of people to behave that way. And by “getting clarity”, I mean (for me) being able to go “oh, that’s what’s happening” and not really feel scared anymore. Or angry, or drawn out into it, or anything.

And if you’re still standing around going “but how does something like GamerGate happen?” or “but why do men hit their wives?” or whatever – please read that book and learn something.

^^^^ truth WDHDT is fantastic at cutting down MRA bullshit and calling it what it really is

Also recommending

Please consider reading these. WDHDT is really, really helpful. And I know some of you are struggling with abusive relationships, friendships, families, etc. You’re not alone. There is help.

Yo. This family holiday, please, please take care of yourself. You aren’t there to be anybody else’s cushion.

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents

Reading any of these books does not mean you don’t love your parents or family.  It’s just self care for helping you cope and not repeat the behaviors. 

A gentle reminder that I have Toxic Parents as a FREE PDF if you would like to download it and read it on your own. Take care of yourselves.

All the books in this thread are great; adding this one because it was the most helpful to me. Free pdf here

Jesus Christ, the codependency checklist in Toxic Parents…WOW, I’ve been through that.

Hooo damn.

Children need to make mistakes and discover that it’s not the end of the world. That’s how they gain the confidence to try new things in life.Toxic parents impose unobtainable goals, impossible expectations, and ever-changing rules on their children. They expect their children to respond with a degree of maturity that can come only from life experiences that are inaccessible to a child. Children are not miniature adults, but toxic parents expect them to act as if they are.

Someone go back and write this on a brick and throw it at my mother, please.