Today I was rehearsing with the guitarist from the show I’m doing and I was coughing up a lung bc I’m sick and I was just kidding but I told him he needed to bring me a lemon for me to slice up and put in a cup of tea and so I show up to the show tonight to get ready and he sets down a big ass lemon on my dressing room table and then brings out like 5 boxes of Halloween Oreos and for those of you who pay attention to my posts you know what a big fucking deal that is and so long story short I now have a lemon and more Oreos than I know what to do with
update: tonight he brought me 2 lemons and a bag of cough drops. i’m running out of room in my fruit drawer in the fridge because i have so many damn lemons.
LIFE IS GIVING U LEMONS, MAKE SO LEMONADE !!!!!
okay but it wasn’t life it was a guy named howard
Update: tonight there were 3 lemons
Update: 4 lemons
Another update: I have 10 lemons and a date for Friday night
update: lemon boy carved pumpkins to ask me to be his lemon girl so lemon boy is now lemon boyfriend
update: lemon boyfriend and lemon girlfriend are very happy
update: lemon boyfriend and lemon girlfriend took a trip to the mountains this summer and decided that once they’ve graduated & are successfully pretending to be grown ups they will become lemon husband and lemon wife
kids have no concept of anything. i walked into my kindergarten class and one kid asked me what my name was. when i said miss jones, he said “i like that name. did you know i’m in love with you”
WHATCH OUT FOR SHARKS!
